my best friends name is elsa and today she said “i wish people would stop asking me if i wanna build a fucking snowman”
the bags under my eyes are Louis Vuitton
true self control is waiting until the movie starts to eat your popcorn
why would the movie eat my popcorn
hey there delilah what’s it like in new york city i’m a thousand miles away but girl tonight you look so pretty yes you do
i installed a camera in your room
i’m watching you
So there’s a read aloud function on my Kindle, so I thought it would be funny to turn it on and hear this in its robotic voice.
I was wrong.
It wasn’t funny.
It was hilarious.
JUST CLICK PLAY OK.
And I hope my laughter isn’t too loud.
your thighs won’t touch if you have my head between them
that one face eddie redmayne makes in les mis
guys remember when peeta got back from the capitol and katniss was all excited and she was so happy and they were running towards each other and she thought they were going to hug but then he tried to choke her
Look what my parents have just give me.
Mientras tanto, en las condiciones de servicio de Tumblr…
I’ve always wondered if God gets excited when we finally find the person He created us to be with. Or if He is watching and is like, “That was them! NO. NO. TURN AROUND! YOU MISSED THEM! THAT WAS THEM!”
“UGH, WHY ARE ALL MY OTPS WALKING BY EACH OTHER WITHOUT NOTICING!”
We are in a giant reality tv show and God and the angels are the fandom.
thunderstorms are nothing more than ship wars going on in heaven
a brazilian porno called “please cum to brazil”
at my wedding instead of saying “you may kiss the bride” i want the priest to say “you are now canon” and instead of throwing rice i want people to throw small print-outs of their favourite reaction pictures
i shipped so hard
and got so far
but in the end
it wasn’t even canon